Monday, December 28, 2009

Tiger Woods humor piece 1: Caublinasian Anti-Defamation League Formed

Caublinasian Anti-Defamation League (CBIAADL) Formed

Tiger Woods is still one of us…but only one of us, says new organization’s spokesman

NEW YORK, N.Y., December 28, 2009 – Hello, world. Now stop mocking us.

That’s the message being sent by the newly formed Caublinasian Anti-Defamation League (CBIAADL). The non-profit organization was created in response to the spate of negative stereotypes arising from the Tiger Woods imbroglio that began when the star golfer crashed his SUV within his gated community in the early-morning hours of November 27.

“When Tiger Woods was an unimpeachable role model — hailed as a champion golfer, loving husband, doting father, dutiful son — the Caublinasian community was happy to stand in the gallery, as it were, and let Mr. Woods be our public face,” says CBIAADL founder Whitney D’Shawn Singh-Kim. “However, in light of distressing recent events, we can no longer permit this be the case. We are being attacked like a short par-5 hole. Too many Caublinasians are being targeted for ridicule, harrumphing and sideways glances.”

Mr. D’Shawn Singh-Kim continued: “The simple fact is, we are not all two-faced serial philanderers with out-of-control libidos and a weakness for cocktail waitresses, nightclub shills, party girls, fame-seeking bimbos, would-be models, quasi-madams, teenage checkout girls, porn stars, bottle blondes and various combinations thereof. Indeed, only one of us is alleged to be. Likewise, neither are most Caublinasians inclined to hire creepy, soon-to-be-indicted doctors for ‘plasma therapy,’ whatever that is. And yet our entire community is being painted with this broad brush by the media. We will no longer stand for it.”

In a surprise move, Mr. Woods endorsed CBIAADL and its goals even after his founding membership application was denied by Mr. D’Shawn Singh-Kim. “I am pleased to learn that no man is an island,” he sent via text message.

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About the Caublinasian Anti-Defamation League (CBIAADL)

Wielding the power of boycotts, sit-ins, letters to the editor and message-board rants, CBIAADL is committed to securing justice and fair treatment for its community through advocacy, education, information, legislation and shameless publicity stunts.

For further information contact:
Evan Rothman
Founding partner, ERPR

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